Holy Macaroni, er, Matrimony
by alter yi
Summary: Marriage, in some stories, is an end. To the Vongola and their allies, it's jumping into the rabbit hole and embracing chaos. A collection of the Guardians and their friends' journey through love and failed wedding plans. Disclaimer: Not necessarily romance.
1. A Genuine Smile

**A Genuine Smile**

 **~()~**

The first Guardian to get married was Ryohei. To Hana.

Ryohei knew they were together since his trip to the future. Hana knew they were together since Tsuna blurted it out after finding out about it. Neither of them thought about dating, let alone marriage.

Kyoko, however, was eager. "Then we can be official sisters!" she exclaimed happily. "And if you don't like it, you can always divorce."

Kyoko's smile was too bright, too earnest, and Hana couldn't find a reason to refuse.

The marriage was a small one, one that wasn't meant to be a big deal. Hana definitely didn't think of it as one, even as Kyoko and her friends gushed over how beautiful she was in her dress or how perfect her makeup was. Cherry blossoms fluttered down, reminding Hana that she graduated high school less than two weeks ago.

Kyoko, of course, was the maid of honor. Tsuna, surprisingly, was the best man.

Ryohei was twenty. She was eighteen. They said their vows, they put on their rings, but they didn't kiss. She didn't change her name.

After that, life changed. Hana moved out of Namimori, finding a small apartment close enough to her university. She was following in her mother's footsteps making her way towards law school. Kyoko was two hours away, learning architecture. Ryohei, her new husband—and how odd it was to call him that—chose to give his sister space and move in with Hana.

"Is there a point to this?" Hana asked when he showed up one day with a box carried on his shoulder and a bulging suitcase in his free hand. Since he had graduated high school, he had spent most of his in Italy. Hana could probably count the number of times she saw him during her last year in Namimori on one hand.

He could've taken up permanent residence in Italy. Hana knew there was a place for him there. But no, here he was, with a smile almost as bright as Kyoko's.

"Not really. Kyoko says hi."

Hana rolled her eyes. As if she didn't call almost every day.

So now there was someone else living with her, though she barely felt the difference. He was gone more often than he stayed, but it wasn't like Hana noticed. She got up, went to campus, studied, and didn't come back to her apartment until night to sleep. On the weekends, she could finally relax, but by then, Ryohei had already left for Italy.

Married life wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

Two months later, she got a text—the first since he texted he was leaving—from Ryohei just to tell her that he was coming back. The next day—or night, rather—she came home to find him snoring away on the couch. And maybe, just maybe, she fell asleep listening to it.

A year came and went. Hana rested her head on the table, trying not to think about how finals went. She was content with staying like this for an entire morning. Then the dog barked.

With a groan, she stood up and padded into the kitchen. "Morning, Taiyo," she said to the shiba as she poured dog food into his bowl.

Then the cat, the jealous, attention-loving Yako, dropped down from her spot atop the fridge and mewled loudly. Hana was almost tempted to pour dog food in her bowl, too.

Her phone chimed, and she stepped over a wagging tail to get to it. There was a text from Kyoko, wishing her happy anniversary. There was a text from Ryohei, telling her about the weather in Italy.

She rolled her eyes.

The next year was a bit different. She got up, filled the pet bowls with food and water, went to campus, and came home when she had the chance. Life was a little noisier with pets around. Her phone chimed more often as Ryohei seemed to have found a hobby in sending her photos of just about everything he saw in Italy.

She's tried to tell him multiple times to stop sending her pictures of his dinner while she was still in class, though.

On their second anniversary, she found him sleeping on the sofa, Yako curled up on his stomach. Another suit covered in cat hair.

She smiled.

Hana still wasn't quite sure when or how it happened. She thought of her middle school self, who called all men monkeys and refused to think about a future with them. And yet, here she was.

They were on the beach with all of their other friends, celebrating achieving their bachelor's degrees with a barbecue party. Hana still had to go to law school, and Haru was planning on getting her doctorate in physics, and she's sure they'd celebrate that, too.

They all tried Yamamoto's grilled sushi, and they all tried to avoid Bianchi's shish kebabs. Tsuna managed to magnificently cook three hotdogs into a charcoal black, and everyone agreed that Gokudera should not smoke while standing near the grill. Hibari checked in once to make sure that they weren't littering and to drop off some alcohol.

Things got a little more hectic after that, as if it wasn't enough already.

By the end, everyone was lying on the sand. Someone had enough sense to turn off the grill and move it away before starting the drinking games, but not enough to save many of their friends from being buried in sand.

Hana woke to a rising sun and the sandy tomb of I-Pin beneath her head. Slowly, she rose, shaking off the sand on her legs, and let out a sigh. She might have missed the raucous of Namimori, as loud as it may have been.

Before her, Ryohei was jogging on wet sand, and then he was approaching her, hand raised in greeting.

"Hey," he said, barely out of breath.

"Hey," she replied.

There was a ring on his left hand, a silver band with "Together" etched on the outside, the O marked with a small gemstone. It was a match with the one on Hana's finger, hers saying "Forever." They've talked about this, and now was the time.

They took off their rings.

Ryohei smiled. "I will be together with you always," he said, slipping his ring onto her finger.

"And I will forever love you," she said, slipping her ring onto his finger.

They didn't need another ceremony, didn't need a crowd to watch. They did this all before, but now—this time—they kiss.

It's their fourth anniversary, but to Hana, it feels like their first.

 **~()~**

 **AN:** I don't write romance, so if this is odd, that's why. There's a reason I hesitate to call this romance. So I had way too many weddings in my head, and it didn't feel right to include them in Snapshots of Life because they did so well as standalones, so! No need to read Snapshots of Life to know this. These are basically pairing headcanons

Things that I wanted to include but couldn't because it was hard to make it flow:

\- Hana's thought going into the wedding was to just try it for Kyoko's sake  
\- Ryohei's thoughts going into the wedding was holy **** was this actually happening  
\- Ryohei's been not-so sneakily staring at Hana since coming back from the future, but Hana's been oblivious the whole time  
\- So maybe he  
\- Kyoko gave her own brother the shovel talk if he did anything to hurt Hana  
\- Hana secretly misses loud noises because she grew up in Namimori, which isn't known for the quiet  
\- Ryohei knows this and brings the dog, Taiyo, home. He barks a lot and Hana simultaneously loves and hates him  
\- Yako is a grey cat that Hana found on her way back from studying  
\- Taiyo coat is gold; his name means sun. Yako means night child  
\- They had to move to a different apartment because Hana's old one was too small and didn't allow pets  
\- Communication was very minimal between these two at first until Lussuria stole Ryohei's phone and sent many things and made many calls  
\- Lussuria and Hana are friends and Lussuria teaches her self-defense over video calls  
\- Hana's surrounded by suns, her life is too bright, she's going to go blind one day  
\- Ryohei sends pictures because he literally doesn't know what to say besides boxing and the Varia  
\- Do not talk to me about differences in ring sizes. They handled it somehow  
\- Hana's mom is an attorney and she has custody of Hana  
\- Hana's parent's divorced when she was young, but Hana visited her dad every month before moving  
\- Ryohei always brings just his suitcase with him when he travels, and Hana had it replaced when it broke  
\- Ryohei usually sleeps after plane trips, and he gets jet lag  
\- Tsuna did not go to university, he was home-tutored by Reborn  
\- Pictures that Ryohei sends include food, sunrises, sunsets, Varia shenanigans, and other people's pets  
\- Pictured at the end: two virgins having not their first kiss  
\- Actual romance bits  
\- Hana goes to law school as Sasagawa Hana

I just thought about the romance between these two way too much, okay?


	2. A Love That Slips Past

**A Love That Slips Past**

 **~()~**

Asari and Alaude were very much in love. Secretly. It was all very hush-hush and sudden. Asari certainly didn't plan on falling for the guy who ended up using his songs as lullabies. Alaude certainly didn't plan on falling for the man who smiled far too much.

They did anyway.

Asari was almost certain Giotto knew about this. And G. And Knuckles. And okay, maybe all of their friends. Except Daemon, but Daemon wouldn't know romance until Elena slapped him in the face and then kissed him. But aside from them, no one else really knew about their relationship.

And the thing about secret relationships was that you didn't really marry the one you actually loved.

After the debacle that was Daemon betraying them and Giotto immigrating to Japan, the Guardians, with heavy hearts, decided it was best to part ways.

Asari returned to his family, who welcomed him back, congratulating him for finally seeing sense and cutting ties with the foreigners. A young lady, pale and delicate as a flower, became his wife, and he loved her. He really did, but his heart still panged for another, and it was clear to whoever listened to the solemn notes of his flute.

His wife, holding onto a baby of four months, quietly told him that songbirds were not meant to be caged. It was because she loved him that she did not want him to be sad. But Asari loved her, loved their son, and would never be able to leave.

Alaude would understand.

Alaude understood perfectly, because Alaude had a spy network that practically spanned the entire world. His spies told him of Vongola's transformation. His spies told him of Giotto, hair dyed black, living the life of a fisherman with three kids. G had wandered the world and was last seen in America before disappearing. Rumors spoke of a child with an uncanny resemblance, and Alaude stopped his spies before they investigated further. Knuckles was taking care of an orphanage in Spain, though why he was in Spain and not in Japan with his sister was a mystery. Lampo was lazing about on his father's land, doing absolutely nothing.

He knew, of course, about Asari's new family.

Saw them once and then turned away before they noticed him.

They looked happy. Asari looked happy. And Alaude, rather than feeling jealousy, was happy for them.

Because Asari always wanted a family, and Alaude would never be able to give him one.

(He had a child, too. Born from a quick affair in a brothel when he went to gather information. He hadn't expected a child, but when he found out, he couldn't tie himself to them. Unlike Asari, love did not come easily to Alaude.)

Years passed. Alaude sat in his office, reading reports. Asari composed music and taught how to play the flute. Giotto managed to enchant a group of ronin. Lampo started a new Family. Knuckles moved from Spain to France and from France to Switzerland. G visited and was just about to drag him over to Japan before Alaude handed him a baby rattle. He shook it once before throwing the thing back at Alaude and leaving.

"Don't know why I bother with you, bullheaded bastard."

Years passed. Ricardo had passed away and his son was in charge of Vongola now. Daemon was missing, maybe dead. Lampo's Family was growing. Knuckles founded a school. Giotto was in charge of vigilantes yet again. Asari played his flute and brought tears to many who listened. G visited a grave.

Alaude's office was empty.

Years passed. Decades. Centuries.

Namimori Police Station was bustling that day, a change of pace from the languid atmosphere that usually took hold. All because _someone_ had decided that it would be a good day to take down the Momokyoukai yakuza group and leave them unconscious and trussed up in front of the station.

Inside the office of the police chief, both the police chief and her husband were working on a growing pile of paperwork. One of Hibari Sousuke's wrists was handcuffed to the desk.

"Dear, I'm not sure why this is necessary." The handcuffs clinked as he gestured at them.

His lovely wife stared at him with the "you did something dumb as usual now deal with it" stare. And then the "did you think you could hide from me" stare. And then pointedly stared at his kimono sleeve where both of them knew he concealed three short katana.

Sousuke laughed. In his defense, the group was planning their revenge on the boys who had beaten them up a few days before. Now that wouldn't do. Sousuke couldn't allow harming children and Asari couldn't allow another group of Giotto's making to stray from their original path.

Alaude, or rather, Yun had been planning on the slow, methodological takedown of the group. She collected evidence and was three months away from gathering everything she needed to win a trial against the boss. Yes, Sousuke delivered evidence along with the bodies. But he also crammed three months worth of paperwork in one day.

Now he can share half of Yun's suffering.

Just as well. She suffered enough in the past. Now, he could help. Now he hummed, softly, a tune he played long ago, Yun leaned against him, keeping him in place better than any handcuffs ever could.

They're not separating this time.

 **~()~**

 **AN:** Haha, attempt number 2.5-ish at writing romance. I have pairings that are half-written, I have pairings whose chapters I have a faint idea in. I have non-pairings that have chapters. Will I finish any of them? Give me another year or two. Or a month. One's close to done.

Extra notes:

\- Sousuke and Yun are Kyouya's parents, in case you needed to have it pointed out  
\- Sousuke's sister is Takeshi's mother. Yun is Fon's sister. Kyouya and Takeshi are cousins  
\- Sousuke and Yun look exactly like an older Asari and Alaude  
\- Yun means "cloud." Skylark has the kanji for cloud in it. Hibari Yun is 雲雀 雲, and I find that very amusing.  
\- Asari named his firstborn Hibari after Alaude, who then changed it to be his surname instead  
\- Don't tell me you thought Giotto would just stay in Japan peacefully  
\- Lampo's Family later splits into the Cavallone and Bovino Families  
\- Knuckle, being a priest, doesn't marry, but his sister in Japan does and is the Sasagawas' ancestor  
\- G later joins the Vendice and learns about the Hibaris during the Arcobaleno Arc  
\- Daemon faked his passing on(only passing on when he's sure Tsuna won't undo his years of hard work, which was never)  
\- Daemon "haunts" the Hibaris and then G(may or may not make them a couple)  
\- Daemon finally learns of the "secret" love affair between Asari and Alaude when he haunts them, this dense idiot  
\- G and Daemon visit from time to time. They try to visit when no one's around, but occasionally, there will be people who faint at the sight of a ghost and a mummy/zombie  
\- Asari is the rasher of the two. Kyouya gets it from him.  
\- Alaude does not sleep when he's busy, but once he's done, he will drop like a fly  
\- Yun could've been trans, but I don't see her going for it, especially since Alaude didn't seem too attached to his masculinity and it was because he was male that he couldn't be together with Asari (pretty sure gay rights didn't exist back in Primo's generation. also not so sure about trans rights when Yun would be born)  
\- Sousuke, when he isn't handcuffed to his wife's work, is both managing family affairs and working on revitalizing interest in traditional Japanese instruments. Yes, this means Kyouya knows how to play the shamisen.  
\- Sousuke and Yun are unfazed when Kyouya and Takeshi resemble them, somewhat perturbed when Ryohei appears, growing concerned when they see Tsuna and his sealed Flames, and nearly kick out all of the Vongola when it's apparent that the Tenth Generation uncannily resembles their First Generation counterparts.  
\- Don't ask me how they met. But when they did, it was an immediate hug from Sousuke since they look exactly the same as before  
\- No, I don't know why I'm attached to this pairing. I just thought of it fleetingly and then it clung. At least it's not a crack pairing  
\- I joke, but some people write great stuff with crack pairings.  
\- First draft idea had none of this reincarnation business and ended with: Alaude died, Asari would never know, sad, if my readers cry in the reviews my work is done, the end


End file.
